Follower of the Year

Gentle readers,

On this the final day of 2010, it is my esteemed pleasure to present to you The Broadcast Energy Transmitter Follower of the Year:

I remember the day I logged in and noticed that I had my first follower as well as my very first comment.  It was you laurajane00.  These past few months you have provided me with encouragement as well as material (via your willingness to hangout with Anime celebs).  There were times when we both knew that a post was mediocre at best, but you were at the ready with a charming comment to make things seem a bit less lame.  

You already received your Follower of the Year award.  Judging from that text you sent me you mistook it for a Christmas gift.  I guess the red and white wrapping paper fooled you. Laurajane00 that elegant, white scarf is meant to symbolize your pure love and devotion to my blog.  I hope that you will wear it with pride.  Also, if anyone compliments you on the scarf I would encourage you to explain that you are the 2010 BET Follower of the Year.  

Brittany Havican, you were a very close second.  Unfortunately, my blinding jealousy regarding the success of your own blog undoubtedly effected my decision.  

Readers who are reading but not following: I hope this inspires you to join us.  Just think, you too could be the recipient of a scarf!  For those followers not receiving this coveted honor please keep in mind that this will be an annual award and through hard work and dedication this could be you next year.  

Y'all have a safe and happy New Year's Eve! And never forget that we are all The B.E.T.

If You Were Here I Could . . . Deceive You?

Before it actually happened I spent quite a bit of time imagining my first kiss.  And I mean every possible detail preceding the kiss including the setting, my outfit, and the background music.  From time to time the song would shift with my musical tastes, but more often than not my optimal first kiss song was "If You Were Here" by Thompson Twins.  This had a lot to do with my Sixteen Candles fixation.  

Ten year old me was under the impression that it was a really sweet love song.  I thought the lyric was, "if you were here, I'd get to see you" which in hindsight would be a terrible lyric.  


I was wrong.  These are the lyrics:


If you were here
I could deceive you
And if you were here
You would believe
But would you suspect 
My emotion wandering
Do no want apart of this anymore


The rain water drips
Through a crack in the ceiling
And I'll have to spend
My time on repair
But just like the rain
I'll be always falling
Only to rise and fall again


As you can read the song is about someone who falls in and out of love.  Not romantic at all.  This really leaves me wondering about the conclusion that John Hughes was trying to draw at the end of Sixteen Candles.  Does this mean that Jake Ryan is feeling a little fickle about Sam?  Is he already thinking about getting back together with Carolyn? Nooooo!


It's strange, but I don't remember my first kiss.  Maybe this would have been a good song choice for me and my beau . . . whoever he was.  


P.S. Cary Brothers covered "If You Were Here" on the Who Are You album. I think his version is dandy.  

The King's Speech

I saw this movie today and it was spectacular.  All of my favorite British actors are in the cast (Colin Firth, Geoffrey Rush, and Helena Bonham Carter) and they each did a superb job. The less well-known Timothy Spall portrays Winston Churchill and is delightful as always. Remember him from the movie Rock Star?

You know, I've always had a soft spot in my heart for Rock Star.  Minus the formulaic, cheesy ending it was a pretty solid movie.  My opinion on the ending also has a lot do with the fact that I  have big problems with Grunge being viewed as 'more authentic' than other genres.  Talk about formulaic.  


And if I'm gonna digress and talk about Rock Star I have to mention the hilarious end credit sequence.  For those of you who have forgotten about Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch, let me (and the crew of Rock Star) remind you:  

I'm so glad that Mark Wahlberg gracefully elected to have a sense of humor about his Funky Bunch days, though I still think he needs to explain to his brother Donny that this New Kids/Back Street Boys reunion tour is a mistake.  Yikes.  


Alright, back to The King's Speech.  I am so glad that this story was finally told.  I think the whole Wallis Simpson and Prince Edward affair tends to overshadow this most noble moment in The Royal Family's history, and I appreciate that King George VI is an honorable man who wants to serve his country, but has zero charisma.  One of the things that really bothers me about our current political landscape is that people will pay all sorts of attention to charismatic leaders without bothering to review their voting record or even dissect what it is that they are actually saying.  Just because you're a dynamic speaker, doesn't mean you have good intentions.  And please don't misunderstand me, I'm talking about Republicans and Democrats alike here. 




Check this guy out.  He's not sexy, but he makes sense.  

Cooking With Too Much F---ing Rosemary

A few months ago I was eating dinner at a formal restaurant.  To my left was a couple who appeared to be on a first date.  Their body language was stiff, they raced to fill uncomfortable silences with open ended questions, and every sub par joke was met with forced laughter.  


Then a curious thing happened.  Their food arrived and as they began to eat the woman who was minding her ps and qs just moments before remarked to her date, "this chef always uses so much f---ing rosemary."


Rosemary can be a delightful herb when used sparingly, but can completely ruin a meal if a chef is heavy handed with it. However, this post isn't really about cooking.  I've noticed something as of late.  I feel like as a society, linguistically, we're all using too much rosemary.  


I'll be the first to admit that I do it too.  In fact about a year ago my mother said, "sweetheart, I know that you're a grown woman and that I can no longer tell you what to do, but sometimes when we talk, your unnecessary cursing makes me cringe."


My husband and I watched Going the Distance last weekend.  It was absolutely terrible.  So terrible in fact that we were making fun of it no less than five minutes in.  One thing that definitely added to the terribleness was all the unnecessary cursing.  If a comedy is relying on arbitrary f-bombs to illicit laughter the movie is in trouble. This ubiquitous cursing went hand in hand with the fact that each of the characters (who were all between the ages of 25 - 35) seemed to have the emotional maturity of adolescents.  Which brings me to my next question.  Are we all cursing so much because in our youth obsessed culture so many people are suffering under the delusion that it's cool to perpetually behave like a teenager?


I really got into cursing during my high school years.  It made me feel rebellious and powerful to use four letter words, but much like my teenage smoking habit it was ridiculous and disgusting.  


So in addition to Breaking Up With The Kardashians, in 2011 I'm vowing to stop using so much f---ing rosemary in my speech.  


It tends to overpower the dish.  

I'm Still Here

My brother and I decided to watch the furthest thing possible from a Christmas classic on the evening of December 25th.  We chose I'm Still Here the documentary which chronicles Joaquin Phoenix's transition from retired actor to hip hop artist.  


Of course my brother and I remembered the David Letterman appearance and the video footage of Joaquin's rap performance that went viral, but neither of us did any solid research on whether or not this was a documentary or a mockumentary, but we were leaning towards the latter.  


Even though I held preconceived notions that I'm Still Here was a hoax, while watching for the first time it was truly difficult to decipher whether or not JP (as he refers to himself) is legitimately pursuing a hip hop career, because he seems so desperately passionate about shedding his former image and exploring this musical art form.  He's also incredibly abusive to staff, friends, and sometimes total strangers who all seem genuinely terrified of him.  That, combined with drug use, manic rants, an unkempt appearance and a substantial weight gain blurs the viewer's sense of reality.  


At the end, we were left scratching our heads wondering if what we we just watched was real or fake, and if it was fake . . . who all was in on it? 


Luckily, we were watching a DVD so we could turn to the commentary which includes Joaquin Phoenix and Casey Affleck, as well as other cast members.  Mystery solved.  


Spoilers from this point on . . .

So as we sort of expected but mostly hoped, the commentary reveals that the film is 100 percent fake and that almost all of the people featured in the movie were totally in on it.  In hindsight their reactions to JP's erratic behavior are genius- especially Sean Combs who plays a superb straight man.  


My favorite moment is when all of Joaquin's staff (who he berates daily) are gathered around him at dinner before his big rap performance and he announces that he couldn't have done any of this without them, and triumphantly shouts "we are all JP!"  


I think it's quite comical that there are so many bad reviews of this film, and from actual film critics!  This review from Robert Ebert is so scathing that it made me question whether or not he was in on the joke especially because he writes stuff like, "I have hope that if Phoenix ever cleans up his body and mind, he can be restored, and can be happy again" and "we do not desperately need another actor, but Joaquin is imprisoned within his illness, and he desperately needs to get well. If he wants a career as a singer -- well, why not country music?"


It really is a credit to Joaquin Phoenix's acting abilities that so many people thought he was for real after watching the film, but it still surprises me that these viewers would have the audacity to write reviews on IMDB and similar websites criticizing his "drug use" and lambasting him for his egotistical behavior without pausing to consider why Joaquin's brother-in-law would direct a film chronicling his "downward spiral."  Is it because they are so excited about the possibility of another celebrity meltdown and are too busy searching for stones to throw to consider that the joke is on them? Or are they keeping the joke alive? I'm hoping (for their sake) that they are keeping the joke alive, but I kinda doubt it.  


I found myself really liking both Joaquin Phoenix and Casey Affleck after watching the movie with their commentary.  They seem like really nice people who don't take themselves too seriously and each of them seem to have a great sense of humor.  I would encourage anyone who enjoys mockumentaries  to check this out.  It takes the genre to a whole new level.  


One final thing- even though I watched this movie with my brother on Christmas it is definitely not family friendly.  

Breaking Up With The Kardashians

So in case you haven't seen it, that's this year's Kardashian Christmas card.  Doesn't it look like an advertisement for an Aaron Spelling drama?  


I try really, really hard to abstain from watching Keeping Up With the Kardashians, but I will admit that every once in awhile I will get sucked in by a marathon.  As many of us know, that's how they hook you with these reality series- the marathons.  


It's pathetic how much I know about these people.  It's pathetic how much everyone knows about these people.  I bet more Americans could tell you that Rob used to date a Cheetah Girl than could name the Senate Majority Leader or think that Scott Disick is more of a threat to our country than our crumbling currency.  


I have a few ideas for New Year's resolutions that I'm still deciding on, but one is for certain: I'm determined to have a Kardashian free 2K11.  


I feel guilty when I watch this show, because I know that it is interesting for very superficial reasons- the family is rich and beautiful and that's it.  I'm sure they're all slightly intelligent (or at least savvy), but that aspect of their personalities is never featured on the show. None of the 'characters' are particularly witty, and even their family dramas are fairly tame and typical. There is absolutely no substance in the plot lines (if you can even call them that), and I can't relate to any of their day to day dilemmas.   


I know that I'm not saying anything new here.  We all know that the show is eye candy, but my brother asked me a question once that shed so much light on how much the series depends on their physical beauty and material possessions: 


Would you still watch if they were a middle class family and were all mildly disfigured? 

Gucky by Gucci

Most advertisements are fairly ridiculous when analyzed, but very few ads are as ludicrous as fragrance commercials.  Since it's gift-giving time these commercials are saturating the airwaves and this year they seem sillier than ever before.  I don't think these two spots were intended to make me laugh, but that's what happened:

(Do you think Britney Spears Inc. learned that the name Destiny was already in use after this commercial filmed prompting Brit to say, "Y'all, we'll just call it Radiance! It means the same thing.") 

(I hope McConaughey cringes when he sees this, but I doubt that's the case.)

I came across tons more ridiculous ads on Youtube, but I know that I only have you for a limited time, and I wanna get this last thing in before you jump to another blog.  This Funny or Die sketch featuring James Franco poking fun at his own Gucci ad is so very refreshing.  Thanks for not taking yourself so seriously James.   I love you for that.