Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Unsubstantiated Fantasies: 5 Fears I Must Overcome In Order To Write This Blog

You know that song "Feels Like The First Time" by Foreigner? Yes, I know- it's terrible.  I'm actually tempted to scrap this topic and brutally criticize the lyrics to that song.  It always seemed weird because Lou Gramm is going on about how much he loves his new lady and howls that "it feels like the first time." Obviously this is meant to be a compliment to their shared lovemaking abilities, but I thought the first time (for most people) was awkward and maybe even a little uncomfortable.  I guess since Lou Gramm is (was?) a stud he probably didn't consider this negative association with "the first time."  Well I have been ridiculously nervous about this first blog entry and have been humming that song for days.  

What started out as a fun new project quickly transformed into an anxiety-laden chore that had the potential to destroy me both personally and professionally.  (Yes, I'm still talking about this post.) I asked friends and family members to share their thoughts on potential topics for my first blog entry.  Everyone was a great sport and generated a few ideas, but they couldn't grasp why this was so important to me.  The subject would change, and while I pretended to listen I was actually silently considering whether or not "True, Tried Friend: A Look Back at Al Cowlings" would be an appropriate first post.

I turned to the Internet.  I learned by reading various blog-advice websites that the first post should introduce yourself and explain why you are blogging and what you will be blogging about.  I might do that for you eventually gentle reader, but first I must address some fears that I have concerning this blog. 

Fear Number One:  I Will Alienate Friends and Family
My family and friends are very important to me, but they are also a source of material.  For example, my grandmother is a refined woman of class and taste, but I'll be honest- she has a drinking problem.  This made for some precarious situations during my childhood and the stories that are the result of these situations will probably make their way to this blog.  Friends and family members should contact me immediately if you would like to discuss the possibility of a pseudonym.  

Fear Number Two:  I Will Offend Total Strangers
I try my best to avoid snarky writing, but I am somewhat opinionated.  I do not want to offend anyone, but it's probably going to happen.  Actually, it probably already happened- sorry Foreigner fans.  

Fear Number Three:  Not 'Enough' Followers
What if by writing this blog I realize just how dull I really am? What if only my mom keeps up with it, and even she seems irritated when I ask if she's read my latest post? 

Fear Number Four:  'Too Many' Followers
So I know that David Koresh was insane, but do you ever wonder if there were moments of lucidity when he thought, "Wow- this thing is totally out of control!" It seems like once you have a lot of followers there would be more pressure to perform.    

Fear Number Five:  My Human Resources Department
Eight hours of everyday is consumed by my job. My job is always an adventure, and could provide me with tons of material. However, I know that it would be in poor taste (and maybe even grounds for termination) if I discussed what I do for a living so I am going to keep that part of my life as vague as possible.   

So those are my fears.  I feel like I worked through them.  This concludes my first post. Was it good for you? 



  1. I can't wait to see what you have in store for us! Have no are off to a great start!

  2. Thanks for your encouragement lauradowning!