Most Eligible Dallas

I'm writing this post for one person and one person only. Super Fan, you know who you are. 

Dear Kourtney,

You're not funny. 

Matt,

You kind of remind me of Patrick Bateman. I'm sure you have no idea who that is. Download American Psycho. 

Glenn,

Remember when you were on the photo shoot and said, "I feel like, I'm just like, a natural born poser,"? I nodded. 

Tara,

We get it. The show is about Dallas. Dallas is in Texas. People are familiar with Texas. Also, pretty sure "Big Hair Day" isn't a "national day" if it's Texas specific. 

Drew,

So far you're my favorite. I love the way you pronounce "button." And you're right- Texas wine makes me want to vomit too. 

Neal,

I'm not sure I'm spelling your name correctly. I'm sorry Kourtney was mean to you, but keep in mind that it's just because you have everything she wants and you're throwing it in her face on a Wednesday night at 11:00 p.m. when you should be at home with your child. Kourtney is just insanely jealous traditional. Because she's from Texas. 

WE GET IT! THEY'RE IN TEXAS! 

Clearly, Andy isn't producing this one.