Alarmingly Apathetic

I never thought I'd say it, but I'm gonna-

"Kids these days . . . 

Don't get me wrong, I was never in danger of being nominated for most school spirit or anything, but this so-called spirit poster struck me as alarmingly apathetic:  

Do you think the flaming basketball is meant to be ironic? 

Problems With Pets

This weekend I journeyed to Austin to reunite with some old friends and I'm still recovering.  Don't jump to conclusions- I only had one glass of wine the entire evening, but we stayed up gabbing until 4:00 a.m. and I have been paying the price all week. 


I talk A LOT.  My friend Leanne makes me feel a bit more normal, because I think she might talk as much or more than me.  In fact, she talks so much that she is in danger of permanently damaging her vocal chords and her doctor has recently prescribed "six weeks of vocal rest."  As her former roommate, I can assure you this will never happen.


The great thing about Leanne's excessive talking is that she is exceptionally entertaining.  We considered attending a Wu Tang concert, and I'm so glad we didn't because there's no way that a Wu Tang show could compete with a Leanne show.


My favorite stories that she shared involved her failed attempts to find suitable pets for her classroom.  Leanne teaches kids with special needs, and she is very passionate about providing them with unique learning experiences.  Unfortunately, I think that some of these learning experiences turned out to be more unique than she intended.

Leanne thought a frog might make a great classroom pet.  The frog she ordered online turned out to be a gigantic bullfrog.  Mr. Bull's cage was too small so one of the science teachers offered to take Mr. Bull for the weekend because he had a large unused terrestrial tank at home.  When Mr. Bull returned to the classroom on Monday Leanne didn't realize that she had a) put him too close to the heater and b) partially covered his air hole thereby creating a small sauna.  When Mr. Bull began frantically hopping around searching for air she actually said to the kids, "Look how happy Mr. Bull is to be back in our classroom!" Needless to say, Mr. Bull didn't make it much longer.


But here's where the story get's really sad/hilarious- Leanne decided to use this opportunity to teach the kids about the life cycle.  She explained that everything will eventually die, and that it's okay to be sad, but that death is natural.  This lesson was capped off with a funeral for Mr. Bull which included a burial in the yard outside their classroom and the singing of "Amazing Grace."


This would have been a great moment in teaching if Mr. Bull's grave wasn't so shallow and the lawn mowers had not shown up that day.  So unfortunately when the kids were marching back from P.E. they were all subjected to the bloody, mangled body of Mr. Bull which was strewn across the sidewalk.  


R.I.P. Mr. Bull


Leanne did not provide me with a picture of Mr. Jack which might be for the best.  Mr. Jack is a rabbit that was donated by one of the parents.  One day Mr. Jack escaped from his cage and attempted to make a break for it.  He was almost outside of the classroom when one of the kid's grabbed him by the head. What the children ended up learning that day was that rabbits' have very delicate skin because basically Mr. Jack was scalped.  Leanne said it was absolutely disgusting.  Mr. Jack miraculously survived, but is more skittish than ever and rarely gets to venture outside of his cage.  Don't worry, Leanne transformed the traumatic incident into a lesson about the dangers of running away from home.


Get well soon Mr. Jack!


Leanne decided that her next classroom pets should be sturdy animals.  She selected two box turtles.  Even though they were unable to determine the sex of either turtle, they decided to go with Speedy and Mrs. Spots.


One day there were some strange noises coming from the turtles' box.  The children raced over to see what Speedy and Mrs. Spots were up to and it turns out that they were aptly named:














Prepare yourself for a graphic image that was captured by Leanne: 

Quick Thought

Why is it that when most families live off other people's hard-earned money it's considered government welfare and somewhat shameful, but when certain families do this it's celebrated?  

Laughing All The Way To The Bank

Do you ever find yourself wondering, "who are these alleged Ke$ha fans?" 

Every once in awhile (for reasons that I don't wanna go into) I am forced to listen to my local "hit music station" which has Ke$ha on heavy rotation.

Mom, I know you don't know who Ke$ha is, and I really love that about you, but for the sake of this post I will give you a quick introduction- she's a twenty three year old pop star who sings about 'partying.'  

Her songs and her persona are completely ridiculous, but for some reason she appeals to a fairly large group of people.  According to NPR she describes her latest album as a celebration of "boys, boots, beer, boobs."  I know what you might be thinking (what an idiot!), but do not be fooled.  

Even though this Ke$ha is somewhat ridiculed for putting out obnoxious songs that regrettably only appeal to impressionable teenagers- I think she totally understands the game and is well aware of what she's doing.  

She was raised in the music business (much like that other teen sensation who enjoys partying in the USA) and has "near perfect SAT scores."  (This also according to NPR.)

I'm not sure if being "in on the joke" makes a terrible joke more humorous, but either way I think Ke$ha is laughing all the way to the bank.  

Good News!

Representative Spencer Bachus announced today that Ron Paul (the Texas congressman determined to dismantle The Federal Reserve) will be in charge of the panel that oversees the central bank when Republicans take the House next year.


I bet Ben Bernanke is sick.


If you don't understand why The Federal Reserve should be abolished or at least audited, pour yourself a cup of coffee, get comfortable, and watch this video.


If you don't have an hour to spare, you could just watch Jon Stewart bust Bernanke.  

Half Awake In A Fake Empire

If you're looking for a reason to lash out at the government, but are hesitant to visit WikiLeaks for fear of Joe Lieberman's wrath, check out the Commission on Wartime Contracting in Iraq and Afghanistan webpage.  This bipartisan legislative commission released a report in June of 2009 which is chock-full of sickening information.  


There are $13 billion dollars in "questioned" or "unsupported" costs, but don't be too concerned. The vast majority of these costs are linked to the former Halliburton subsidiary KBR.  I'm sure they are honest mistakes.  


If you want to help the government help Halliburton you can make a contribution to the National Debt which is currently $13, 843, 457, 556, 754. 48.  Don't worry, your part of the tab is only $44,710.34.  

Are You More Than The Sum of Your Parts?

In a previous post I mentioned that I am not on Facebook.  I also mentioned that I try to avoid discussing why I'm not on Facebook, because it makes me sound like a disgruntled sober alcoholic.  


Today one of my good friends sent me a very insightful article entitled "Generation Why" by Zadie Smith.  It's lengthy, so here are some highlights for those of you are dying to get back to Facebook:


-We know the consequences of this instinctively; we feel them. We know that having two thousand Facebook friends is not what it looks like. We know that we are using the software to behave in a certain, superficial way toward others. We know what we are doing “in” the software. But do we know, are we alert to, what the software is doing to us? Is it possible that what is communicated between people online “eventually becomes their truth”? 


-Different software embeds different philosophies, and these philosophies, as they become ubiquitous, become invisible.

-When a human being becomes a set of data on a website like Facebook, he or she is reduced. Everything shrinks. Individual character. Friendships. Language. Sensibility. In a way it’s a transcendent experience: we lose our bodies, our messy feelings, our desires, our fears. It reminds me that those of us who turn in disgust from what we consider an overinflated liberal-bourgeois sense of self should be careful what we wish for: our denuded networked selves don’t look more free, they just look more owned.

-Step back from your Facebook Wall for a moment: Doesn’t it, suddenly, look a little ridiculous? Your life in this format?

-The last defense of every Facebook addict is: but it helps me keep in contact with people who are far away! Well, e-mail and Skype do that, too, and they have the added advantage of not forcing you to interface with the mind of Mark Zuckerberg—but, well, you know. We all know. If we really wanted to write to these faraway people, or see them, we would. What we actually want to do is the bare minimum, just like any nineteen-year-old college boy who’d rather be doing something else, or nothing.

-In this sense, The Social Network is not a cruel portrait of any particular real-world person called “Mark Zuckerberg.” It’s a cruel portrait of us: 500 million sentient people entrapped in the recent careless thoughts of a Harvard sophomore.